Marketer's take on Uses for DPL (Semi-serious)

To start, bravo to Chris Dalton on his entertaining exposé of Unusual uses for DPL (non-serious). I'm sure you had to dig deep for some of those gems.

I welcome an injection of humor into my workday in the form of odd uses of DPL in the Trial feedback form, especially considering the fact that I skim every single demo download feedback from that lands in our inbox here at Syncopation Software.

It's my duty to separate the wheat from the trial download chaff and check in with said "wheat". That's right folks, those deemed worthy receive a follow up e-mail from a living breathing human being, drafted (with love) from scratch with the demo downloader's use and, if they happen to provide it, industry in mind. But how does one approach drafting a follow up e-mail to an individual whose use for DPL is "cheese"?

Worse than the jokesters are the worn out, "thank you, Captain Obvious" uses. I realize not everyone cares about the mental stability of the person at the receiving end of these demo submission forms but the tedium of the ever-revolving cycle of "academic", "trial", "personal", "homework", "decisions", "testing", "yes", "project", repeat... do start to test my sanity and deplete my marketing gusto. So yes, coming across the occasional "to Save the World" or "tongue depressor" in the Use field is a bit of a relief but...

Every now and again I discover a veritable diamond in the rough that revives my spirit: A demo downloader who breaks all previous monotonous convention, refrains from the wisecracks, and provides an honest to goodness, real-world description of a potential DPL application. I do, however, take these with a grain of salt; a couple are obviously fabricated by a cavalier grad student, others don't quite fit the DPL bill (I'm looking at you "recursive partitioning analysis"), and better yet other users tend to use the field to string together a list of their favorite business acronyms(CRM, BI, SCM). Whatever the case, they provide me with a starting point for crafting a helpful and personal follow-up.

So without further ado, here are the Marketing Coordinator's fave DPL uses:

  • random assignation to empirical population densities
  • Develop models for fisheries management
  • Options analysis drug development
  • legal regulation decision making
  • Conducting settlement analysis for clients
  • Modeling P&L forecast
  • To assist in CRM, BI and SCM processes
  • calculations of doses for different body organs
  • Concessions-related M&A
  • lubrication maintenance analysis
  • Disease Progression Modeling
  • Therapeutic demand modeling
  • risk analysis applied to litigation as a mediation tool

So, the next time you're hastily throwing answers at a demo or registration webform form, think about the person on the receiving end. You just might make their day.