Unusual uses for DPL (non-serious)

When prospective users download a trial version of DPL from this website, we ask that they fill in a box with a short comment (sometimes as little as a word) on what they plan to do with DPL. Most of the uses described are straightforward and factual: "risk analysis", "valuation", "evaluate strategic alternatives", etc. However, some creative people feel the need to enter a "use" that is unusual, funny and/or obscene. While we value the serious responses, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy some of the smart aleck ones. Here are 20 I thought were interesting or just perplexing: Primary intended DPL use:
  • tongue depressor
  • crinimal intend [sic]
  • drinking games
  • To destroy Agent Smith
  • food service
  • particle number scheme
  • joy
  • diplomatic essay
  • 8085 microprocessor kit
  • Dendrochronology
  • cheese
  • medium
  • santa
  • bar code
  • meal planning
  • astrology
  • valuing indulgences
  • To choose between super size and mega size
  • To do stuff.
  • Graft, corruption, theft, embezzlement
With that in mind, happy Turkey Day to those of you in the United States.